Can I tell you about a phrase I say to God way more than I'd like to admit?
"Wait, let me just…"
Yes, Lord, I'll follow You. I'll rest. I'll take that step. But first let me finish this project. Let me get my finances sorted. Let me wait until work calms down, until I finish this degree, until I find the right dude...until I feel ready...Then, I promise, I'll follow you.
I've been journaling through scripture lately, and a couple of weeks ago I landed on Matthew 4. I've read it more times than I can count, but this time it stopped me in my tracks.
They were mid-cast
"As he was walking along the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon (who is called Peter), and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. 'Follow me,' he told them, 'and I will make you fish for people.' Immediately they left their nets and followed him." (Matthew 4:18-20)
Look at what they were doing when Jesus called them to follow Him. They weren't sitting around waiting for a sign to show up. They were working. Nets in their hands, mid-cast, in the middle of an ordinary day, just doing what they normally did.
And Matthew says immediately they left their nets.
No "let me haul this catch in first." No "let me talk to my accountant." No five-year plan neatly organized in a Google drive. They just put the nets down and went with Jesus.
The "let me first" trap
Now compare that with another moment a few chapters later. Someone tells Jesus they'll follow Him, but "first let me go bury my father" (Matthew 8:21). It sounds so reasonable, doesn't it? It's even a good thing to want. But Jesus' answer makes it clear that "first" was the problem.
And that's the trap so many of us can fall into. Let's face it, it's rarely a bad thing we're holding onto. It's usually a good thing, or a sensible thing, or a responsible thing. That's exactly what makes it so sneaky.
And honestly? I can be stubborn. I'm a planner. I like knowing what's around the corner before I turn it. So "let me first" comes very naturally to me.
Why our brains love "first"
Here's the part that helped me give myself a little grace. Your brain is wired to keep you safe, and one of the ways it does that is by craving predictability. Uncertainty registers as a type of threat. So when God asks you to step into something you can't fully see yet, whether that's a new job, a volunteer role, or simply taking some time to breathe instead of going at full speed, your nervous system often responds with, "Hold on. Let's get a few more things lined up first."
That isn't a lack of faith, it's just biology. But it does mean we have to notice when our very human need for control is quietly steering the boat.
Signs you might be stuck in "let me first"
- You keep saying "after this season" and the season never seems to end.
- You know the next step, but you keep researching it instead of taking it.
- You're waiting to feel ready before you move.
- Rest, prayer or that hard conversation always ends up on tomorrow's list.
If you nodded at any of those, you're in good company. I nodded at all four.
What helps: trust that His way is best
When I finished writing out Matthew 4 in my journal, I wrote one word at the bottom of the page: trust.
Peter and Andrew didn't drop their nets because they had a plan. They dropped them because they trusted the One calling them. I truly believe His way is the best way. He loves me (and you!) far too much to steer us wrong.
And here's something I didn't expect: putting the nets down can be a kind of rest. So much of our exhaustion comes from carrying what we were never asked to carry, or from white-knuckling a plan God already said He'd handle.
One small step this week
You don't have to overhaul your whole life by Friday. Try this instead:
- Ask God, "What net are You asking me to put down?"
- Write down whatever comes to mind, even if it feels small.
- Take one tiny step toward letting it go this week. Just one.
Then notice how it feels to have empty hands for a minute. That's where following starts.
What's the net you're holding onto right now? I'd love to hear it. If you're on my email list, just reply to any email. I read every one.